28 December 2010

To whoever wrote this... thanks.

Robert Fripp suggests that music comes into the world despite, not because of, the personality of the musician. Reading back on the posts of this blog over the last two years, I am struck by how full of "dancing, nascent insight" (as one commenter put it) many of them are, how many of them accurately depict universal truths which go beyond psychology, mysticism and dialectical-material cultural analysis, and are actually funny and fun to read. And I'm shocked and appalled, because whoever wrote those posts certainly wasn't this Doloras. You see, this Doloras tends to be grouchy, negative and pessimistic. But the voice speaking through these posts is - while justifiably pissed off about a number of these things - also brave, wise, loving and generous. So it's certainly not my ordinary everyday personality.

Which is why I have to re-read this blog, because there's so much good advice here that I don't actually follow in my daily life. This Doloras is the person who gave up active political activity because she is incredibly thin-skinned and terrified of other people's reactions - when faced with an uncomfortable situation, she tends to either run away or get mean and aggressive. If she was half as brave as whoever it was who wrote the good bits of Chaos Marxism, why, she would have done much more good in the world than she already has. (Not that she hasn't done some good. But she hasn't nearly done as much as the writer of the good bits on this blog would be expected to have done.)

Well, at least this Doloras had enough brains to set up Chaos Marxism so something wiser, kinder and braver than her could speak through her. I hope it's helped someone out there. The adventure is ongoing, but I really would like more company, more feedback, more people who would confirm that the message of CM is as "real" as it seems to me. I have no wish to be a cult leader nor to wallow in a fantasy world of my own design. I aspire to live somewhere real, with kind and clean friends who share some basic assumptions but differ enough so we can have productive debates and discussions. But if no-one agrees... well, what the voice of this blog says is useful to this Doloras, at least. I could at least get used to the company of my own inner voice.


  1. Be comforted, Doloras, I take the same inspiration from "The Other Doloras" as you do.

    The Left (which I have been a part of all my adult life) has scant understanding and absolutely no respect for the magical aspects of emancipatory politics.

    It's their greatest weakness.

    As Browning wrote: "A man's reach should exceed his grasp - or what's a heaven for?

  2. As long as the Other Doloras is nothing like the Other Mother from Neil Gaiman's Coraline, that's all cool.

    But seriously - thanks.

  3. I find this really interesting as recently I was criticized away from another blog I was very interested in for expressing any kind of spirituality.

    Which leads me to wonder if you've come across any of the stuff out there about "Lepht Anonym" the bio-hacker/cyberneticist: http://sapiensanonym.blogspot.com/

    And (s)he complains about people being closed minded...

  4. And... in more ways that one, I "subscribe to your newsletter," and I highly appreciate what you do.

  5. Your support is appreciated and gratifying. :)

    Thanks for the link to Lepht A.'s blog. I find it interesting and disturbing in equal quantities - I used to be very interested in transhumanism, and I do have great affinity to the "cyborg" concept, but then personally I think that we should probably learn to be human first before we try upgrading ourselves.

    Also, I can't seem to find in the blog what Lepht A.'s homemade implants are actually supposed to do.

  6. Hmmm... just another point, Lepht's comments on tramadol do not accord with my own experience. When I took that stuff, the world suddenly turned into a happy and friendly place, I felt like I was wrapped in pink candy floss, and - perhaps most shocking for those around me - I suddenly became cheerful, outgoing and gregarious. But the withdrawal symptoms, and the hassle of getting black-market pills, neither of those were worth it, so I had to face stupid reality again.

  7. The neodymium implants react to RF fields so you gain sort of an electronic sense.

    Lepht's current project is a bit more practical in more than just an added sense. She's building a haptic compass into h(er|is) leg.

    I suppose you're right about being human first. I can't help to be curious though. Being a bit of a geek, I'd find the added sense intriguing.

    As for the drugs, I have no idea. I had my experimentations in the past but now I have to remain 100% clean.

  8. While I admit to being nonplussed by Lepht's shenanigans, good on hir for doing bleeding-edge research that all the cool kids will be copying in 40 years - and I honestly can't understand the sheer level of bile some of the commenters are unloading on hir. What's their real problem?

  9. Yeah, that's been my argument: This is experimental new stuff that few have had the chutzpah to do.

    Why is anyone a troll?

  10. I can understand, if not approve of, people who are trolls for the lulz. But these people seem honestly pissed off by... something, as if they were commenting on the blog of someone who was committing some kind of evil.

  11. Maybe it's fear of change or they feel it threatens their own humanity? They probably don't even realize that's what it's from.

    I can see it related to how quite a few Americans think that homosexuality threatens their sexuality.

    I've never really been very good with discussing other people's emotions though.

  12. @IX: Nobody kicked you out of sapiensanonym, if that's what you're referring to. Certainly most of us disagree with you on spirituality, but nobody actually kicked you out.